The market was the witness
For years the thing that confirmed my work was money, and money has no mood, no history with me and nothing it needs back. When the income went, the reading went with it, and what was left was people, who
contingencies of self-worth
Meaning
Internal evaluative standards rely on specific categories of achievement to sustain a sense of personal value. The contingencies of self-worth are the specific domains such as professional success, appearance or approval upon which an individual anchors their self-regard. When a person meets the criteria in these domains, their self-esteem rises, but failures in the same areas cause a disproportionate drop in self-value.
This mechanism operates globally and remains active even after the initial venture that established the pattern has concluded.
Validation Source
Reliance on external metrics creates a fragile state where the seat of value is held by the witness rather than the actor. For a person whose contingencies of self-worth are tied to market performance, the absence of a professional role removes the primary scale for measuring their existence. This dependence forces a constant search for new domains to satisfy the requirement for confirmation and stability.
Fragility Factor
A person who builds their identity on a single contingency faces a total loss of standing when that domain becomes inaccessible. Diversifying these domains reduces the impact of a single failure, yet most individuals tend to over-invest in the one that provided their earliest successes.
Capacity Drain
The hours spent managing these internal standards represent a substantial load on the person in the seat. Because the standards are often rigid, the energy required to maintain them leaves little room for actual work. This drain persists as long as the contingency remains active.