Showing up unasked
Provision and reciprocity get called by one name because both look like giving. They are not the same thing, and the difference is not manners. It is whether anyone is counting.
running figure
Meaning
Maintaining a continuous tally of past interactions ensures that a cumulative record remains accurate over time. A running figure is a dynamic calculation that represents the net sum of interactions and exchanges between parties over a prolonged period. This calculation is bounded by the duration of the relationship and ceases to update when the partnership ends.
Unspoken Tally
Informal agreements often rely on a mental record that tracks favors and assistance. Each partner maintains a private running figure that reflects their perception of who owes what to whom. Because this calculation is subjective, it frequently leads to disagreements when the two tallies do not match.
Measurement Drift
Without a written record, the accuracy of the cumulative calculation degrades over time. The subjective running figure tends to favor the person doing the calculation, as individuals remember their own contributions more clearly than the assistance they received. This drift can create a false sense of grievance that damages cooperation.
Formal Verification
Establishing a shared document to track transactions eliminates the reliance on memory. When the running figure is written down and agreed upon by both sides, it provides a stable foundation for future exchanges. This practice protects the partners from unexpected demands and ensures that the reciprocity remains proportional, reducing the emotional friction that often arises from unstated obligations.
By making the tally visible, both parties can plan their resource allocations with confidence.